I worked 50 hours and went to classes this week. I wrote one blog post and on Tuesday and Thursday I only had two cat naps equaling in total four hours. I worked too hard and the fact is I had no play time this week until today. It is hard to only have one day off because most weeks I have two and spend the first day night primarily for sleeping. This week I have to jam sleep with free time.
I thought I was doing that today. I was somewhat wrong. I had plans for after 4pm and I showed up at home just after 7:30am and promptly went to sleep to get ready for those plans. Juggling relationships among school and work and sleep is never quite that simple. My plans, you see, were cancelled by the other party and I was left with a hole in my day. I do not mind being alone by any means.
Walking the world when you are too busy to smell the roses or spend time talking to anyone feels less like being alone and more like being lonely. I wonder if I am being crazy thinking I can shove everything into the 168 hours that we are given in a week. I feel caged in this apartment when I am awake enough to spend the time here. My days seem cut into segments of requirements. I must be here at this time and I must have this read by this time and I must have this much sleep to do it.
I also have to find corners of time to clean the corners of my home; which as much as I push my energy level to the max I can never get the place the way it should be. I wish others around me understood my time is the most valuable thing I can give. I do not like when plans I have placed on high priority get cancelled at the last minute. Those hours might mean nothing to you; but, they are the only hours that matter to me. I made the sacrifice sleep or study time to show I care about you. Please show you care about me.
After an epic weekend it is hard to get back to the swing of things. I started school this week and all of my classes seem interesting. I have three classes I have to physically attend: Race and Crime, Social Psychology, and Comparative Psychology and one online class: Domestic Violence. I have been thinking about getting a Masters in Social Work after I finish my Bachelor’s. Maybe.
I also got whacked in the head by a metal cart shelf at work. I worked the rest of the night with blood dripping from my head. Yesterday, I had a splitting headache and if it was not mandatory to go to the first day of the classes I was taking, I would have skipped. I did skip work because I needed to sleep off my migraine. I feel better today. Back to reality.
Is anger good for you? Possibly. The repost from Times shows a study that if someone is showing obvious signs of being angry at you, you are more likely to have more motivation.
I read this article a couple years ago trying to find articles to summarize for my Intro to Psychology class and stumbled onto it again when I was deleting the old favorites I have used or no longer link. I thought “okay this is interesting”; but, in the end used other articles I had personal experience with. Now, two years later, I have had experience of this. I am not perfect and there are times when others make me angry and I make others angry. Actually, this seems to happen more to me than other girls because I am quite assertive. I speak my mind and I don’t apologize about it. I don’t believe in violence because it really does not solve anything.
So, what is a girl to do? Anger Motivation. Sure, lashing out would make you feel better; but, then you would have to face the consequences. I have decided to use those stare downs as wood to my internal flame and use the energy from my aggravation to work harder, faster, and better. I take the anger of the other to build out my job or school work. I take those risks and I volunteer for those special projects. Therefore, I get the rewards because of someone else’s bad attitude. So far it has worked out well for me. Hopefully, this advice might work out for you.